How-to: Be an Adult
June 30, 2015
Many people believe they’re an adult when they turn 18 – I can vote, I can join the military. Some teenagers belive they’re adults way earlier than that, whether they have a job, or a car, or the love of their life. Some people believe you become an adult at 21 – I can drink legally. Other people don’t treat you like an adult until you’re 23 or 25, when you can rent a car or your insurance payments go down due to lesser risk. But. I believe there are things people constantly overlook, things that are requirements to being an adult. I’ve taken it upon myself to write a quick guide on how to be an adult in the 21st century.
1- Play Dungeons and Dragons at least once
This can clearly be accomplished at any time in your growing up phase. However, there’s something to be said kicking back, eating pizza and drinking Mike’s Hard Lemonade while smashing and crashing through a hoard of kobolds. A clan of kobolds? A hive of kobolds? A harem of kobolds? What do you call a pack of kobolds?!
2- Do karaoke at a bar
The at a bar thing is optional, but just as long as you’re there with your posse and you sing in front of at least one stranger, if not a dozen, you have accomplished this task.
3- Watch a live shadowcast production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Get the red ‘V’ drawn on your face. Witness your first Frankenfurter cosplay in person. Marvel at the person dressed as Rocky that you may not have wanted to see dressed as Rocky. Sing along. Get wet. Find rice the next morning in your shoes.
4- Fly in an airplane on your own
My first flight alone didn’t happen until I was 19. I flew all the way to London – I didn’t really know any of the people yet who went on that study abroad with me. But I do know I sat in between two very weird men on the flight from Detroit to Heathrow. One was very old and weird. The other was in his mid-thirties and weird. But this is a symbol of independence. Now if planes are not your thing (this is almost more reason to do this task), you could probably substitute it with a long distance roadtrip by yourself.
5- Go to a convention.
(Comic Con, Furry Con, Brony Con, Anime Con, Trekkie Con. You have to, no ifs ands or buts.) Bonus points if you go to one of each.
6- Eat cold pizza for breakfast.
Or eat ice cream for breakfast. You’re an adult, dammit. Act like one. You can eat whatever you want!
There are some gold star status achievements you can earn to become a gold star adult, as well:
Live with a stranger. Or live with your best friend. (BONUS: Do not become enemies.)
Take a nap in your car when you’re too sleepy to drive.
Get pulled over and actually ticketed. (Getting out of a ticket, or being let off with a warning just prolongs your childhood sense of immortality.)
Go to a theatre alone to watch a movie. (Preferably an animated movie for the last showing of the night. Who cares if people think you’re a creep?)
Create a tradition with your friends. (Friend-family dinner? Pub trivia? Friendsgiving? Obscure movie marathon? LARPing? The world is your oyster!)
Binge watch a show, putting off all responsibilities and obligations in the process. (Have you re-watched Friends yet? What about the Gilmore Girls? Are you more of a fan of The Office? Whatever your show du jour is, watch it until you cry that it’s over once again.)
If you ever find yourself needing to use the hashtag #adulting, then you’re probably doing something right.
What do you think qualifies someone as an adult? What milestone must they reach? Let us know!