2020, a year of masks, social distancing and school closures. The University of Utah campus was desolate, except for Gardner Concert Hall where Jack Sperry worked on his music.

Sperry was an English major, Editor in Chief at the Canticle and practice room monitor at Gardner Hall (there wasn’t much monitoring to do).  Three years later, he’d leave behind Gardner Hall and Utah for New York City. “For My Young Death” was released five years later, which stemmed in Utah and concluded in New York, under the name Port Ross.

Hailey Edmonds (K-UTE journalist): “When you graduated, were you like, ‘I’m going to New York?'”

Jack Sperry: “Yeah absolutely, I’d wanted to for at least a year by that point. I’d been dead set on it.”

From University of Utah to Hell’s Kitchen, Sperry felt lonely, stressed out upon his arrival and experiencing writer’s block. One spring day, he walked to a friend’s house for a haircut. He felt a moment of peace and a “beautiful creative feeling,” he said. “I was like damn, ‘I actually feel okay now and I feel like I could die today.’ I could just live that day over and over again because it was so content,” Sperry said. It was that day that he felt inspired to write the lyrics of his single, “For My Young Death.” The lyrics paint the imagery of this day:

“Now the leaves are goldening again
And I’m walking down to meet my friend
Feel the chill that’s growing in the air
And falling on the evening

In the last fallen leaves
Let the time go with me
Come to see my memory
I’ll be waiting patiently”

The meaning behind the music

The single takes on two meanings for Sperry, the first being a ballad left behind in case he died tomorrow. “I felt like I got to do all this shit in case I die tomorrow. I felt this pressing need to leave some kind of message for everybody, but specifically for my mom,” he said. He felt like he couldn’t ask for more in this life, feeling grateful for the beauty of the life he’d lived so far.

The second meaning stems from the feelings surrounding leaving his home state for New York. “In some ways, the song is also allegory for that situation of like moving, leaving Utah after living there for 22 years, leaving all my friends and family behind. It kind of feels like I was killing myself in a way, you know, because you’re just vanishing and starting everything new.”

Talking to Sperry, it was clear he loves Utah, honoring it through music and art.  The music video for the single is set in New York and Salt Lake City, showing images of Liberty Park to capture this beautiful nostalgic feeling of home. Sperry said, “The trees are so beautiful and the flora in Utah, it’s just so gorgeous and arid. To me, that is a big part of the aesthetic of Port Ross. Even though I don’t live there anymore, it’s still about Utah, the music is still about Utah and probably will be forever.”

Through talking to Sperry and listening to his single, I felt a relatability in the in between of life. A feeling of nostalgia and longing for what used to be home but technically isn’t any longer. Although this feeling can feel doom and gloom at times we can go on a walk on a spring day and feel okay.

Look out for “Nighttime at Gardner Hall,” releasing this fall and “For My Young Death” is out now.